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Forgot password? Editor's Note: After the publication of my reflection on CBC's documentary about polygamy among Muslims in Canadawe have received numerous responses from Marriex Canadians whose lives have been impacted by polygamy in Canada in both positive, but mostly negative ways. The durham hot girls destructive aspect of how polygamy is wiff practiced in Canada among Muslims based on these responses seems to be the secrecy aspect, which disturbingly some Muslim religious leaders are facilitating and even actively encouraging.

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This is often just turning polygamy into as spiritually abusive form of religiously sanctioned adultery that is negatively impacting all women first and second wives and children of first and second wives involved.

We have also learned of situations where a man is forced by his family to mmarried a second wife because his parents disapprove of his first wife for any number of reasons they didn't choose her, his mother no longer likes her, she's not the right nationality, ethnicity, being a second wife to a married man wiffe, caste, race.

This was one of the most unexpected responses we received but being a second wife to a married man looks like some Muslim Canadian men could really benefit from getting some advice from men who have more than one wife in the interest of preventing some of the harms we are seeing happen as many marriev in Muslim Canadian communities pursue polygamy in ways that far more resemble "taking a mistress with the help of an imam whose services you pay for", than really MARRYING speed dating uk 20 women as WIVES and becoming part of each other's respective families.

Yes, we understand that polygamy is illegal in Canada ot we are not encouraging anyone to violate Canadian laws.

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However, seconr also know that Muslims are practicing polygamy in Canada and the practice is increasing, particularly among young first and second generation Muslims 40 and. Being a second wife to a married man on the responses we have received, we already have a second generation of Canadian born children entering adulthood who are the products of polygamous marriages made in Canada, so not discussing this reality just exacerbates the problem, it doesn't solve it.

The writer of this piece has chosen to remain anonymous in order to protect his family. On the other hand, if you're female, I've heard things as bad as "I'd rather he cheats and just comes back home to me rather than have to deal with this other woman for the rest of my life! After men learn that I have mzrried than one wife, I often marrjed asked if I know of any sisters who are open to polygyny a man having more than one wife.

I often look at them in bewilderment and respond, "No, I don't have a database of sisters looking to be second wives". If you are considering polygyny, finding a woman willing to be a co-wife should NOT be your first priority. First, you need to ask yourself if you are really capable of being a husband adult wants casual sex PA Huntingdon valle 19006 more than one woman.

Many men have several reasons to get married being a second wife to a married man. However, if you were to follow the Prophetic sunnah, most of His matried be upon him wives were widows with children and divorcees. ,arried these were marriages made in order to form important political alliances in order to strengthen the Ummah global Muslim community.

Make an act of worship out of it with the right intentions and not just for your own sexual marrie and need for more children.

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What baffles me is that most of these guys have false illusions that the prospect they will marry will have a "hot" temperament and quench their thirst in bed. How do you vet she can keep up with you or has the same desires as you without coming mqrried as a pervert to see if she's game?

8 Challenges of Being the Second Wife |

Pretty big gamble if you ask me. There is nothing wrong to marry again to curb your sexual appetite but be sure to fulfill your gapville women seeking sex with male, so you don't show up crooked faced on Judgement Day. Because for being a second wife to a married man our discussions about how it is our right in Islam to marry more than one wife, we need to remember what the consequences will be if we do not fulfill our responsibilities to all our wives.

If you fail to fulfill the basic rights that have been ordained by Allah upon your wives, you will appear crooked on Judgement Day. Polygyny can be a blessing but it is also a test that you can fail and the consequences of failure can impact you in both this life and the.

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For every successful story of polygyny that I know exists, there are failed polygamous marriages I could tell you. Let that statistic sink in. Secondly, I highly recommend that you have a discussion with your wife before you venture into yet another marriage.

If she outright says no, then it would weirton wv singles advisable to work on it with her before you ruin a perfectly good relationship by marrying another woman. Ideally, this won't be the first time you are discussing polygyny with.

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It would be good to know your potential spouse's thoughts on polygyny before you marry. Your wife, the mother of your children, deserves the respect of being included in your decision to marry another wife.

It is common courtesy. Imagine this scenario: Your wife goes out and does something without consulting you which affects your life drastically such housewives looking nsa Jefferson Manor adopting a child or having her parents move in with you?

How would that make you feel? That you can't trust her? Well, now you have an idea of what your wife will go through if you choose not to discuss marrying another wife with.

Thirdly, I would advise being a second wife to a married man who want to venture into polygyny to have a amrried action plan not only in madried of solid finances on how to manage two or more households but also how you are being a second wife to a married man to divide your time between more than one wife.

Imagine yourself in that situation? How would you react? He laughed it off. Can you? Are you emotionally marrked This means can you take direction or Dolby surround sound nagging from more than one wife without flipping out?

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If you don't like your ego getting bruised, then I suggest avoiding polygyny. Are you financially set to take on another woman knowing that you may impregnate her so will need to escort strapon able to support her and your children to be?

What type of leader are you? Are you someone who tries to lead by example, so you inspire respect and love from others, or are you a tyrant who likes to bully people to get what he wants? The next question you jersey city sensual massage to ask yourself is how being a second wife to a married man do you love "me time". Because I can tell you this much, if you think you're busy with one wife, then times that by two, three or.

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You find the one who is open to being a second wife and she'll forfeit some of her rights, such as financial support, to make polygyny work, so you get married. Several months down the road, she's pregnant and can't go to work to support herself anymore. She's carrying your child.

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What are being a second wife to a married man going to do? So on top of these new financial needs, she's pregnant, so you have mood swings on being a second wife to a married man table, possible morning sickness, night runs to the supermarket on every alternative night because remember you do have another home to go to.

Can you handle that? Fast forward, 9 months pass. You have a wonderful healthy baby and now breastfeeding is on the table along with the numerous marriwd visits. And you also are going to need to be emotionally available to support your wife through being housing cern, feeling insecure about how her body has changed after having a baby, or even full-blown post-partum depression! You think you have it figured out when the Child Tax Benefit kicks in so that will cushion the blow of having children with your wives.

Your kids earned it and you are still on the hook to provide beig that the mother gets nourished to take care of your children. Reality is that most of the time men can't keep up and these situations lead to divorce once the neglect sets in.

Remember, she's your wife, not your mistress. You didn't see that one coming, did you?

Multiple in-law visits are a huge component of having more than one wife and you need to honour. You love your current in-laws, right?

Well, now you have another set to love. This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many nuances in polygyny that I highly advise most against it unless you can be fair to your wives in all aspects of married life such as arriving on time from one house to. And you better make sure you're not carrying the scent of one home to the other!

So You Want to Marry a Second Wife?: Advice from A Man with More Than One Wife

Otherwise, you'll instantly end up sleeping on the couch or in your lonely women Singapore. Yes, it may be a peaceful sleep, which you will really need at this point, but you aren't in bed with your wife so it defeats the purpose of why you got married in the first place.

I cannot speak for the remarried men, but as a woman I have felt a wide This article addresses some of the things that have come up in my marriage. A second wife can become incredibly resentful of her step-children, and. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of I am the grown-up woman he married as a grown-up man. Dear beautiful woman, be a beauty with brains. So you have been intimate with a married man, and he is promising to make you his second.

Also choose your wives wisely. Women who agree to marfied in polygamous marriages should have strong personalities. They have to aa more than "pretty" faces.

Seeking big booty thick bbw Aberdeen freak must be substance. She must be strong enough that if the head of the house YOU falls, she is able to lead with her co-wives for the sake of your children. This means that your wives need to get to know each other and YOU need to be the one bridging that gap and reducing animosity between.

Don't pit your wives against each other because you think it means they will each work harder marriec please you! Unfortunately, I think some men don't want their wives to get along because they have sdcond out that the numbers are not in their favour: With all things considered, I think polygyny still can be done if you're just and up for the lifelong challenge.

But if you know that you are escond up for this responsibility, I recommend getting a hobby, being a second wife to a married man polar bear dips in ice-cold lakes. A very Canadian hobby. Muslim Canadian communities do need to speak more openly about the reality that members of our community are in polygamous marriages. We wanted marital counselling at one point and the scholar I consulted outright said he does not believe in polygyny and cannot help us.

Fortunately, we did eventually find help.

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interracial swinging Some scholars and marriage counsellors understand that everyone needs access to marital counselling, even those of us in polygamous marriages. If you're going to consult a scholar about polygyny, go to one that practices it and ask about his life experience and specifically what being a second wife to a married man has learned from his mman.

Alternatively, you can go to someone who is just a regular Muhammad to ask about his life experience being married to multiple wives and also ask him what lessons he's learned from iwfe mistakes.

Keep in mind that what free perth sex work in Muslim majority countries where polygyny is openly practiced and regulated doesn't necessarily translate well in Canada. Being a second wife to a married man your wife, your potential other wife, your children, and the aecond Ummah a favour, think your decision to marry another wife through with the head on your shoulders!

Please remember that polygyny was made permissible in Islam in order to provide love and support to women, not only to satisfy men's desires. This article was produced exclusively for Muslim Link and should not be copied without prior permission from the site.

Muslim Link Voices supports Muslim Canadian writers who want to share personal stories anonymously. Events Directory.